“Most Mature Single Women Are Not in a Good Place” – The Emotional Toll of Loneliness, Loss, and Vulnerability

For many mature single women, widows, divorced women, or single mothers, the journey through life can be marked by intense emotional battles, vulnerability, and often, silent struggles. Behind the polished social media profiles and outward independence lies a deeper narrative of loneliness, misplaced trust, and a longing for connection that sometimes leads to exploitation.

A personal story shared by a Nigerian woman on social media has shed light on a pattern that is quietly affecting many women in this category. The woman recounted how years ago, a lady, emotionally broken and isolated, reached out to her online. She was a single mother in Ukraine, raising children alone, and had found herself emotionally entangled with a married Nigerian pastor known for pursuing “tall, slender, big-breasted” women.

The woman, like many others, had been told she was the pastor’s “soulmate,” only to later realise she was one of many being strung along with empty promises. Struggling with the emotional fallout, she eventually turned to controlled substances to manage her mental state and had to be admitted into a rehabilitation centre.

More troubling accounts have surfaced, including stories of mature single women disappearing from social media after reportedly losing their savings in the hands of pastors and prophets in their quest for healing, love, or miracles.

One widow, still grieving the loss of her child years after her husband’s death, shared how she was introduced to a prophet for prayers. Rather than offering spiritual comfort, the prophet fixated on her sexual activity and claimed that frequent orgasms were necessary for women’s well-being. She left convinced that the women around him, labelled “prayer warriors," were being exploited, possibly just as she might have been.

These experiences underscore a stark reality: the emotional assault mature single women face is often rooted in deep loneliness.

Yet, the article offers a message of hope and accountability: choices matter. While life’s losses and transitions can be overwhelming, mature women are reminded that they are not helpless. “What worsens the unpleasant phase you might be going through in life is not the reality you are grappling with, but your choices,” the author stresses. “The power to change your story does not lie in anybody’s hands. God can only change your story through your choices.”

The piece also critiques the culture of miracle-seeking without balance. “I’ve never seen anyone who runs after miracles all the time that isn’t a mental mess,” the author writes, encouraging women to embrace faith, but also to lean on science, medicine, and reason when facing health challenges.

Advice offered to mature single women includes:

• Prioritizing self-care and mental wellness
• Avoiding isolation by building support systems
• Practicing self-love and emotional discipline
• Honoring elders and rejecting stigmas attached to aging
• Refraining from generalised bitterness or toxicity toward men
• Understanding that fulfillment in life is not limited to bearing the “Mrs.” title

Above all, the article reminds women that healing begins within. “Nothing brings joy and courage to the heart like knowing that you are becoming better as you know better. Treat people well. Impact lives. These acts are the most powerful prayers you can ever say.”

As society continues to spotlight the challenges of single motherhood and widowhood, especially in diaspora and urban contexts, this piece calls for empathy, awareness, and introspection, offering a voice to many women whose pain often goes unseen.